I’m back from the DUCF Amplified Camp and words fail to express what a wonderful time it was. I can’t help but look back to the day that Joel, the CF president contacted us asking if we could send a speaker for their first ever camp. How all the other youth staff were at that time unavailable on those dates. All except me. How I wrestled for a while on whether to take this up or whether to decline it. Looking back now, I am so glad I took that step of faith and accepted the challenge because I got front row seats to witness how God worked in this camp.

The day before camp, June 1st started out terribly for me. I got into a minor car accident on the way to church (which was my fault) and it upset me for almost half the morning. Thank God for my cell leaders and members who extended help and love to me, but nevertheless by afternoon I was mentally and emotionally drained after settling everything. I still had so many things to prepare for my two sessions but I just had to go home and sleep until evening because I was so tired out and couldn’t concentrate. I went back to office around 6pm and worked on top speed until the early hours of the morning when I finally finished all my preparations. The next day was camp and I wasn’t half sure what to expect.

I remember so clearly the precise moment I felt God moving in this camp. My first session was on the first night and during the pre-session worship I was walking up and down the back of the hall and praying. Inspiration for the first session had come quite a few weeks in advance, but I didn’t manage to run it by my boss like I usually do, or even to meet with the camp committee to discern the needs of their CF. So as I paced the hall, part of me wondered if what I was going to share was really what this CF needs. All I could do was commit it to God and pray for teachable hearts to hear the message. In the end I felt the session went well and helped to set the mood for the camp. But later that night, after small group reflection, Joel came to me and said the message really hit home for the people in his group and how did I know that that was exactly what they needed. At that point I literally felt goosebumps because truth be told, I didn’t know at all, but GOD did. And He spoke to His people in a very real way. That night I was absolutely convinced that God was on the move in this camp.

The second day continued to see more evidence of God’s presence, touching the young people and binding them together in love. I witnessed barriers been broken as the campers asked forgiveness from one another, and found ways to affirm each other. I felt God’s presence so near during the worship sessions. I enjoyed the high energy from the many games and activities that filled the day with smiles and laughter. And I was personally amazed by the way the camp committee pulled together to carry out the whole program, and the way they handled even the little hiccups that occurred.

On the last day of camp I did my second session which was both a challenge and a closing. Once more, the Holy Spirit spoke to the young people as they responded to Him, many on their knees, praying for each other and with tears flowing freely. I sensed that that hall was brimming with potential, that lives were being touched and that the DUCF will never be the same because for the first time in their lives, many of the young people really felt the presence of God.

I initially wanted to touch on the key ‘Reverberate’ but I didn’t manage to due to extreme lack of time. But now I realize that maybe Reverberate wasn’t just meant to be a key point of the message but an effect of the camp itself. Just a day after camp ended, testimonies came in of how a Form 2 boy was so impacted that when he took a taxi to get home, he shared about the camp with the taxi driver and exchanged phone numbers with him, how he would sms his non-Christian friends telling them to read specific Scripture verses, and how he is completely on fire for Christ and CF now. Other campers committed themselves to coming for CF regularly and still others found their niche and felt like they belong. And I think many more were touched and impacted by God.

Some campers blogged about the camp here and here. And in the words of other campers themselves:

“DUCF Camp rocked my world upside down, inside out… thank you campers for making it such an awesome, exhilarating, out-of-this-world, one-of-a-kind experience. Rock on for the Lord!”

“Camp was AMAZING!!! I learned so much.” [kin hoe]

“I’m already missing camp SO so so much!!!! Camp was extremely totally A-W-E-S-O-M-E!! So glad God made this camp a memorable one for me. His presence was truly felt. So amazed by God! He worked miracles in this camp… touched hearts and souls… changed lives. To God be all the glory!” [aaron]

“What a great camp experience it is!! I miss it already!! So full of love.” [pauline]

“Camp was de BOMB. No other words can describe how good the camp was. Can’t wait for next year’s.” [jen]

“Camp wasn’t good. Camp wasn’t great. It was SUPERNATURALLY AWESOME!!!” [joel]

I really pray the effects of this camp will continue to be felt for months and even years to come. I expected great things from this camp and God came through. I pray these young people will really catch the fire and that the younger ones will rise up to be tomorrow’s CF leaders, while the older ones will lead the way while fully putting their trust in God.

It’s times like these that I absolutely love what I do

Thanks Jo for your help, it wouldn’t have been easy without you there. And to the camp committee and campers, you made it all worthwhile. From the start to the end we thank God for it all!

Some parting shots of the Amplifiers!

The worship: Powerful and excellent

God: Moving in a great way

Just some description of last night’s Hillsong United concert at Glad Tidings, PJ. Without going into much detail, it was everything you’d expect a United Live concert to be. I had absolutely no regrets about going.

Some random thoughts post-concert, in point form because my brain isn’t working so well right now. Not well enough to form eloquent paragraphs at least…

• I’m blessed to be a part of my generation. I think we’re a generation more willing to turn and run after God, with a strong God-given desire to do great things for Him. A generation who will rise up with strength and power, who will seek to know and experience God. I hope our fire will not be easily doused.
• The worship was wonderful but I’m so not used to worshiping in such a packed hall. There were moments where I would have just gotten down on my knees but it didn’t seem like a wise thing to do while sandwiched between so many people. Even sometimes while raising hands, had to be conscious not to poke someone’s eye out.
• I felt God speak a word to me during the worship: Reverberate. I felt like this would be the key to my last session in the fast-approaching DUCF Camp. In the same way the worship resounded through the hall last night, so our words and actions have the potential to reverberate, to reach our friends, our community and our world with God’s love and salvation.
• I ran into two friends from my uni CF days after the concert. I hadn’t seen them in ages and it brought a lot of memories back. I couldn’t resist hugging them when I saw them, which lately seems to be my main reaction to long-lost friends. I think I really miss getting hugs. Back in my small campus church we were all so closely knit that everybody would be hugging each other every Sunday service. But here it’s not like that, or probably I am just too new in KL to experience this kind of fellowship with anyone.
• Had some really fun conversations over post-concert supper and the drive back. Thank God for new friends as well as the old.

I’m still in the midst of preparing my sessions for next week. At times I get excited when new ideas come in and other times it’s a real struggle to visualize and map out the flow. My last session is still in skeletal form while the first session is its slightly more fleshed out but still scrawny counterpart. Really need to rely on God to ‘feed’ them…

Today I feel like my body is falling apart! Partly as a result of literally falling down last weekend – twice. One time was intentional as part of a skit, the other purely accidental and now I am paying for it. Entire left shoulder is still aching. I want a massage! Or a nice soak in a warm jacuzzi…

Then I almost passed out today in of all places, a public toilet! And no, not because of the fumes. I think I stood up too fast and felt a sharp pain in my left knee (been having knee problems since forever) and the whole cubicle started swimming. I was afraid to move because I didn’t know what could have happened to my knee. Then my whole body felt like it had suddenly become weightless and my eyes couldn’t focus. All I could do was lean against the wall, silently praying “Oh God please don’t let me pass out here (!!!)” Finally I managed to make my way outside and sat down on the curb, ignoring the stares of passersby until the light-headedness went away.

Ugh. I hate having low blood-pressure. Although I guess it beats having high blood-pressure.

Maybe it’s time to just crawl back into bed.

When we reached the venue for the event there were a couple people standing at the entrance directing people to go inside. One of them was a slim lady with short hair who looked exactly like one of my teachers from my secondary school days. I kept staring at her but she didn’t really seem to recognize me. And I wasn’t sure if it could really be her because, after all wasn’t she supposed to still be in Penang, retired and enjoying life?

Finally, after the event was over and people were browsing our books, she came by to remind us to go for the refreshments. I actually stopped her in mid-sentence and said “Excuse me, but you look so much like my former teacher. Would you happen to be from Penang?” And she said yes! And it was my old teacher! Amazing. At that point she even hugged me which I guess just goes to show how things have changed because she would never have done that back in school days. And by that I mean she was the sort of teacher who’d be more likely to give you a tongue-lashing than anything else.

It was so strange to see her in of all places, KL at a seemingly random event. The last time she taught me was back in Form 3 and soon after that I think she got transfered and I never did see her again. I couldn’t help but call her ‘teacher’ even though she asked me to call her by her name. I told her I still remembered her English classes where she was adamant about us crossing our Ts and dotting our Is in a certain way, and how we must not space our words too close together. Back then we thought she was so eccentric and that her demands were too much. But now in retrospect it makes me feel sentimental instead.

Looking at her made me feel that time has once again gone by very quickly. Her hair which once was black is now decidedly gray. Her harshness and strict manner that I remember seems to have been replaced with a mellowed down temperament. And we are no longer accompanied by the island sun or the sea breeze but instead the hazy sky and the tall buildings of the big city.

Before we left I said goodbye to her and gave her another hug. I don’t know if our paths will cross again but I thank God for the opportunity to connect with her again even if it was only for a few brief moments. Appreciating her took a long time in coming but I’m glad that the chance came at last.

Quite a handful of things have been happening since my last entry. I spoke at two separate SCFs, one in Seremban and another in Alor Star – both on the same topic “Does God Exist?” It sounds like a heavy topic for secondary school students but to me it’s a necessary springboard to get them thinking about evidence that points to God’s existence. Unknown to me beforehand, both these SCFs had quite a number of non-Christians and/or nominal Christians in their groups. So maybe God had a purpose in me using this topic, to nudge them to consider why they believe what they believe.

I’m learning that speaking like this and teaching God’s Word isn’t easy. Both times I went into this with a great degree of nervousness and lots of prayer from cell group members and prayer partners. But every time God is faithful. By the first 5 or 10 minutes my enthusiasm comes back and I find myself really enjoying sharing with these young people.

Last weekend was spent in Malacca running an Inter-Generation (IG) Camp in partnership with SS Gospel Centre. The camp was intended to be different from the regular church camp in that we wanted to bring all the generations (young and old) together, seeing that each generation can play a part in the church and should not be left out or separated. The main roles SU played were planning and conducting the teaching program, games and three worship sessions. Logistics and other matters were taken care of by the church. It didn’t sound so difficult initially but by the last few days leading up to camp I was already feeling tired, and camp hadn’t even begun! My main responsibility was leading one worship session, teaching one session with the kids and basically helping out wherever needed (eg. acting in 3 different skits, assisting in games, backup singing and so on).

The kids session was another new step for me since prior to this I only had one experience teaching Sunday School and even then I wasn’t doing the actual teaching but more like assisting. If the church members had known this I’m not sure they would have let me teach their children I thank God for His mercies though because my session went more or less fine. I also found that although teaching young children is more demanding that speaking to youth (you have to condense everything and present it in simple terms), I enjoy it all the same! Some of the best moments I had were spending one on one time with a few of the younger 4-6 year old kids and explaining some of the teaching sessions to them. I had to bend my mind to explain salvation to a 5 year old or evangelism or even why Jesus is our superhero but at the end of the day it was all worth it. I was especially impressed by this 6 year old boy named Joel who correctly quoted the Scripture reference for “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”* and seemed to really understand most of the concepts we taught. Another one of my favorite conversations was with Ilona who is only 4 years old:

Me: Do you have any friends who don’t know Jesus? Or who don’t go to church?

Ilona: Um… dunno…

Me: Next time when you’re a bit older maybe you’ll have friends who don’t know Jesus. Will you tell them about Jesus?

Ilona: Yes! [nods head]

Me: [silently] Lord, may it be so…

And there were many more funny and heart-warming moments that God used to teach me that kids are indeed precious and time devoted to them is time well-spent. Yes, even if at times they are so naughty you want to spank them

My next assignment coming up is the DUCF Camp running from 2-4 June. This is another in a series of firsts because this is the first time the DUCF is having a CF camp, and also the first time I’ll be at camp as camp speaker (!). In all I have about 2-3 sessions to prepare on friendship and reaching out to others. Please keep me and these young people in prayer!

This is new territory I’m stepping into but I’m excited to see what God can do!

* It’s Romans 6:23

Well, God chooses to surprise me again because yesterday morning all of us staff were blessed with a ‘bonus’! And a very generous one too

Actually this ‘bonus’ came in the form of a love gift given annually by a person who as a youth, benefited from our School CF ministry and our camps. And now he is actively working and serving the Lord in his own capacity.

Thank God for people like him. I’m sure it’s not easy sometimes to give away such huge sums of money every year knowing that some of it at least, will go to people he doesn’t even know. Despite that, he chooses to give and his actions both encourage me and put a huge smile on my face!

I’ve decided to be prudent in how I use this gift, since it came from someone’s hard earned money.

This little incident is just one of the things God has been teaching me lately, that He is my Provider and that He answers prayer. Not just this prayer for a bonus but other prayers too. This week it happened that I was waiting for a friend to pick me up for dinner and while waiting I was reading a book (ironically Lee Strobel’s The Case for Faith) when I felt in my heart God nudging me “You need to pray”. I was engrossed in the book so I replied something like “Uh huh… one more paragraph first…” but I didn’t have peace after that and the nudging was starting to turn into pushing. So I said a very quick prayer for my friend’s safety and then went on reading.

Well, in 5 or 10 minutes later he shows up and the first thing out of his mouth is how he just missed colliding with another car on the road next to my house!

Coincidence? I don’t think so. I don’t believe that things just ‘happen’ but if something has a beginning it also has a cause.

God has also been reminding me that I need to listen for His voice. I’m trying to cultivate that discipline but it’s hard since I’m so easily distracted by other things, even ministry. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get to a point where hearing His voice comes naturally to me, but I hope and pray it does.

I’m so thankful for the generosity of others. On four separate occasions this week my meals were paid for by kindhearted friends. And these were good solid tasty meals, not your typical rubbery roti canai or day-old nasi lemak. On two occasions I had nourishing home-cooked meals prepared by women I respect and admire. Living away from home and eating out everyday makes me glad for occasions like these!

I also topped up my handphone credit with the minimal amount to get me through the month. Then a few days later Hotlink unexpectedly added an extra RM7 or RM10 to my credit total! That never happens even when I top up larger amounts!

I also managed to spend quality time and have good conversations with a few friends. That made a very nice break from the demands of ministry and living life solo

The last time I wrote about the trials of finding a local church to settle down in. I ended up giving myself a deadline to decide or else I could wander in the wilderness forever. Funnily enough, I originally started out with a set of fixed and flexible criteria for a church and the church that God ended up calling me to is totally outside my flexible criteria (location, size, denomination etc) while meeting my fixed criteria (sound in God’s Word, a place I can grow and serve). God has a sense of humor and I can just imagine Him chuckling at how I decided on a church almost opposite to one I initially had in mind. I in turn, smile and tell Him “Yes Lord, I know You know better than me!” Also I didn’t come to this decision out of pure desperation but because God used certain people and events to make me more sure that this is where He wants me to be.

So I’ve decided on FGT and I think one of the things I like best about it is that it’s a church where prayer is really emphasized. It’s also not unlike the church I used to go to in Penang, which makes it a bit easier for me to adapt to. Hopefully I’ll be able to find my footing soon but I’m assured that one of this week’s blessings is knowing that wherever my feet tread, God will be with me.

I also got word from Jin that one of our ZMax campers chose to believe in Jesus after the camp! I was extremely happy to hear that! God is a good God!

I spent quite a bit of time at FGT over Easter, attending both their night service on Good Friday and the Sunday morning Easter service. Many churches have skits or dramas every year during their Easter services and in this respect FGT was no exception. However, most churches would have dramas along the line of Jesus’ death and resurrection, or perhaps dramas about the lostness of man and his inability to save himself without Jesus. FGT took a different approach from the various Easter dramas I’ve seen and instead did a 2-scene skit with the first scene being a dialog between Mary Magdalene and a member of the Jewish council and the second scene depicting Jesus’ appearance to two of his followers as they walked to the village of Emmaus (Luke 24). I particularly liked the first scene because it had an apologetic slant, with Mary testifying and answering the many questions the Jewish leader tried to throw at her. No doubt there are people sitting in our churches today who need to hear about the love of Jesus for us that drove Him to the cross for our sake. But I think there are also people sitting there who need to hear compelling reasons as to how the resurrection of Jesus really could have happened and how it wasn’t just something people made up. I know God moved in the hearts of men that morning as several people chose to accept Christ at the close of the service!

I’ve been having a really hard time lately trying to decide on a church to settle down in and eventually call home. Since moving down to PJ at the end of July I’ve visited no less than seven churches on my own initiative, as well as at least four more on ministry-related purposes. All these churches run the spectrum from small congregation to mega-church, conservative to contemporary. And I think I’m starting to get tired. I never had this problem in the past several years at university because due to lack of choice almost everyone went to the same church. And then you commit yourself to attending regularly, you adapt to the style of the church, you choose to serve there and eventually the church becomes home and the people there feel more like aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters rather than mere acquaintances. You become invested in their joys and sorrows and they in turn with yours. You know you can count on them for anything.

Now I am basically starting church from scratch and it’s not easy. I’m still stuck at stage 1 and I really feel the need to move forward and commit to one church. Here in PJ I’m practically spoiled for choice and I find myself weighing the pros and cons each time, trying to be discerning. I know there is no such thing as a perfect church that can meet all my needs. There are a few churches with solid doctrine and a warm atmosphere where I feel I could grow and serve in but when it comes down to choosing I’m still undecided! I’m starting to think I should just choose a church and stick with it for the long term, and trust God that with time and effort I will find it a place I can belong.

It’s almost like choosing a life partner! In some ways I see some parallels, after all you choose a person mainly based on their character, compatibility and chemistry with you and then you work at the marriage, putting it effort to make it work. And by God’s grace over time the love grows and deepens.

So maybe I just need to take the plunge (into one church, not marriage – yet!).

Camp started last Wednesday and the two days prior to that were a flurry of camp preparations. The campers list was only able to be finalized on Monday! I spent the whole of Monday and Tuesday getting handbooks and nametags done, sending stuff to print, checking and packing equipment and tying up all the loose ends. Jin had his hands full coordinating logistics, transport, ice-breakers and his workshop session. Meals were erratic, sleep was minimal and I felt like I was running on adrenaline half the time. Thank God for His sustenance and the fact that this was a small camp (only 15 campers initially) otherwise I don’t think I could have juggled so many things without going a bit mad. Finally by Tuesday night everything was done on time and I went home and happily dropped into bed.

On Wednesday morning, the first news I heard when I got to office was that one camper pulled out due to fever. Uh oh… now we’re down to 14 campers! Looks like camp is going to be even smaller than we expected. If that had happened on Friday we would have called off the camp since 15 was our minimal number. Too late now, camp’s going on anyway!

In the end, ZMax this year turned out to be a very special camp, no doubt partly due to the small number of participants. On the last day of camp, most of the campers shared that at first they were shocked that the numbers were so few and some thought of pulling out. But in the end they thoroughly enjoying themselves and were glad they came. I got to see many of them shed their awkwardness and reservations after the first night, and we all had plenty of shared laughs and inside jokes. And on the last day, when we had a brief altar call about half the campers went forward and rededicated their lives to living out God’s purpose. Hopefully lessons learned and experiences shared will stay with these young people for many years to come.

I was especially touched by the actions of two of the campers. They were both 13 year old boys from very different cultures and backgrounds but they both showed a kind and thoughtful spirit that takes some people years to learn. During the night hike on the first night, one of the boys was walking in front of me and kept pausing every few minutes to ask if I was ok, and shining his torchlight on the path so I could see. The other boy would randomly give me and the other female volunteer stuff like fresh coconut water. I didn’t even ask them to do these things, they just thought of it themselves. If only this attitude of servanthood grows in them for the rest of their lives, I can see them becoming godly men that our world so desperately needs.

I thank God also for our three volunteers who brought much creativity and spirit to this camp as they worked alongside us. Burdens shared were burdens halved thanks to the effort they put in to plan and run the camp!

Now I’m back in PJ and recuperating from the past week. I was going to spend the long break between Thursday and Sunday resting thoroughly but today a call came in from the SCF at SMK Sultan Abdul Samad saying they needed a speaker for CF on Friday and I said I would take it up. Not sure what I was thinking! I have only 2 days to prepare something in the theme of Good Friday/Easter! But I’ve been to this SCF before and they are a very nice bunch so I’m happy to go back there. Just praying for some inspiration to come sooner rather than later

Political Tsunami, as coined by The Star seems most apt.

Less than a day earlier I was driving back to PJ after casting my vote in my hometown. I arrived in the late evening, exhausted from driving in torrential rains and with the intention to read the results the next day in the newspapers. I was going to unwind by having a quick supper with a uni friend and then turn in early. That didn’t quite turn out as planned! By the time my friend picked me up it was 10pm and news was coming in that big names in Malaysian politics were being knocked out by the Opposition. Instantly I got caught up in the frenzy and we spent the next 20 minutes driving around all the nearby mamaks and eating places trying to hunt down a TV that was showing the results! Maddeningly all the TVs we saw were screening football, badminton or golf! Finally we found a lone mamak near SS2 that was tuned to RTM1. We kept our eyes on the TV the whole time, while simultaneously shoving forkfuls of maggi goreng into our mouths without really tasting it. In between, I called and smsed my parents in Penang, trading updates as the almost unbelievable results unfolded.

Two hours later I finally decided to call it a night. Only to wake up the next morning to find that not only Penang, Kedah and Kelantan but even Selangor and Perak fell to the Opposition, the BN was denied a 2/3 majority and Lim Guan Eng was declared Chief Minister of Penang instead of either the two Tengs.

Whirlwinds of change are coming to Malaysia.

I have mixed feelings about all that is happening. Certainly some people deserved to lose but I’m not sure if some deserved to win. Anyway, all this is past now and it’s time to look ahead and hope that the next 4-5 years will spell a good future for our country.

And in the quiet moments I find myself talking to God, asking Him to guide our new government and prepare us as Christians for what lies before us. To be with those who suffered crushing defeats. To be utterly in control of the changes that are sweeping our nation.

For He who calmed the wind and the waves is faithful to see us through the storm into a brand new day.